DAVE WROTE THIS POEM. HE CURRENTLY ISN'T IN THE STATE TO POST IT HIMSELF, BUT HE WANTED TO SHARE EITHER WAY. - KARKAT

CONTENT WARNING FOR:
- derealization/mild unreality
- mild mental crisis
- worrying about death/the MC of the poem wondering if they're dying/etc.
- very brief mention of emeto (v//miting)/general feelings of sickness
- odd/unsettling/etc. descriptions of physical feelings and sounds
(please ask us if there's another trigger you need to have added!)

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death...?

i dont know what its like to die
but im afraid that what im feeling
is that the end is drawing near

what is it that i feel
its that erratic pounding of my heart
that never seems to stay in steady rhythm
it beats and beats and beats
in pitches and keys that cant decide where to go
its like a song with no purpose or thought
music that cannot be composed or written
my pulse it soars and dives
crescendo diminuendo
chords that dont match
sound so horribly wrong together

what is it that i feel
its this nervous fearful sense
it speaks to me in words i cannot comprehend
i can only hear the panic and urgency
the dread and anxious sweat
it makes my skin hot then cold then hot again
a loop of unpleasant temperatures that never seems to end
my stomachs become an ocean
made of stormy waters and crashing waves
no ship dare sail there
itd sink to the bottom of that sea
no land anywhere to be found
it churns and churns and churns
the wild waters of my belly
making me feel ill
seasick
i think i might throw up just from the idea
that my emotions of distress are well-founded

what is it that i feel
its the piercing ringing in my ears
i dont know where its coming from
inside or outside
within or without
my mind cannot process
the sound that makes my eardrums thud and ache
where is it
why do i hear it
it hurts and hurts and hurts
but just wont go away
i clap my hands over them
plug them with my fingers
its still there
that shrill scream of a sound
with the energy i have in me
ive tried to play music tried to speak tried to make my own noise
but underneath the ringing
theres nothing

yet am i dying
thats a question i still have yet to answer
i guess well see when or if this
all of this
the pounding the beating
the sweating the churning
the ringing the hurting
comes to an end

will it ever end